James Bauckman

Dear friends,
Nothing can prepare you for the feeling of finding out there is almost no chance that your unborn baby is alive. At 4 AM I woke to the sounds of my wife, Keri, crying and the sight of her reeling in pain. Fortunately for us, at this time of the day, the emergency room is empty and we were seen right away. The doctors and nurses were kind and helpful and when the doctor told us of our child’s chance of survival, my world came crashing down on all sides.

Life has been getting so much better too. It is really nice to love your job and have family close by and have friends that you like to be with. We are closing on our first home together and we were having our first child. None of this was relevant when we first got the news. Everything that once was, dissolved and we were left alone to discover what all of this means. As I type now, Keri is still crying and in a great deal of pain. There is nothing I can do or say that will ease her suffering. I am powerless. I have cried for at least 80% of the last 17 hours. Being powerless is such a horrible feeling.

Life is so very important. Life is the soul reason we are alive. We are born to live. We each live our own way and that is what makes life so wonderful. The obstacles that surround us are not insurmountable, but man do they hurt sometimes.

What is next for us? Well, we feel that life will just continue as it does. We still have each other, our families, our friends, children to care for and a new house to make our own.

This much is true. Life is so very important. We want so much for all of you to feel joy and happiness for all of your life. We know that it is not possible all of the time, but it is possible to enjoy our lives often and with each other. We each will have our obstacles. Our life seems so confused right now. We know that once the sadness settles and those we care for are around us, we will once again be able to enjoy life and get back to starting our family.

Keri and I are going to be fine. It hurts so much now. We know that in time, our tears will stop and our laughter will return. Thank you for your love and support. We really need it right now.
Peace
James and Keri

I wanted to start my new site with someone near and dear to my heart, my nephew Eric.
This photo was taken with my Canon 20d, 100mm Macro, Kenko Extension tubes, 580 EX flash and with lots of love.

Here’s the sky in Sweden. Taken today.

I know there’s a “bucket” of mistakes but.. Who cares. It’s an example.